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Tim Sample

& the Maine Humor Company

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Tim Sample Answers Your Phone

$5.95

Back by Popular Demand!

NOTE: The download now works with ALL BROWSERS. ENJOY!

Category: Audio
  • Description

Description

Tim Sample Answers Your Phone: Back by Popular Demand!

Surprise your friends! Baffle those pesky telemarketers!

Hop in the Wayback Machine Kids! Sometime toward the end the last century, in an era when audiocassettes roamed the earth I produced a novelty tape -Tim Sample Answers Your Phone. When it came out nobody (least of all me) could have imagined that over the next several years I’d wind up selling tens of thousands of copies!

I liquidated the last of my stock (or so I thought) years ago but people continued to ask for them. So I dug around in the archives and resurrected this audio time capsule from a bygone time when George Michael and Michael Jackson dominated the pop charts. You’ll get all twelve (Mix ‘em and Match ‘em) original outgoing phone messages plus a hilarious (pre-internet download) explanation of how to get these messages onto your phone.

This tape sold for $5.95 back when you could buy a brand new VW Rabbit for around $7000 and fill the tank for less than a dollar a gallon. Today you can download it for the same $5.95. If that’s not a wicked good deal I don’t know what is. Enjoy!

Your Very own Custom Tim Sample Answering Machine Message!

When you’re ready to step up to the big leagues drop us a line and ask about having Tim Sample record a custom personalized outgoing message for your home or office!

 How does this work? Click PLAY and Tim will explain it for ya.

https://timsample.com/wp-content/uploads/intro.mp3

Download Includes:

Contains a .zip file with 12 individual recordings – ranging from 15 seconds to 60 seconds – that you can record onto your answering machine.

  • Intro – How To Make It Work
  • Track 01 – 15 seconds – “How often do you get what you expected”
  • Track 02 – 15 seconds – “Just when you get the nerve up to dial this number”
  • Track 03 – 15 seconds – “No you ain’t lost your marbles”
  • Track 04 – 15 seconds – “I’m wicked sorry no one could take your call”
  • Track 05 – 15 seconds – “Tim Sample taking up the slack”
  • Track 06 – 15 seconds – “Don’t hang up this ain’t the wrong number”
  • Track 07 – 30 seconds – “Tending answering machines like this one for a few of my close friends”
  • Track 08 – 30 seconds – “I can’t say for sure why they can’t come to the phone …”
  • Track 09 – 30 seconds – “Don’t talk back!”
  • Track 10 – 30 seconds – “Moonlighting”
  • Track 11 – 60 seconds – Music & Motel Ads
  • Track 12 – 60 seconds – “Classy people hired me to answer the phone”

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StorepicSharing the Gift of Laughter!

Here it is folks, one-stop shopping for the most complete selection of Tim Sample products available anywhere. Whether you’re a lifelong fan or just tuning in you’ll find plenty of laughs. Why not replace that worn out cassette with a brand new CD of your favorite Tim Sample stories? While you’re here be sure to check out Tim’s latest books and CD’s hot off the presses. Would you like to have something autographed? We can make that happen. Enjoy!

EventspicCome to the show!

When was the last time you got a bunch of friends together and came out to see Tim Sample live onstage? If you can’t remember then it’s been too long. We’d love to see you. Keep in mind that all of Tim’s performances are guaranteed “family friendly”. There’s absolutely no foul language, no angry, mean spirited “jokes”, just a refreshing evening of laughter and fun for all ages.

NewspaperpicTim's Newspaper Column

I never planned to be a newspaper columnist. In fact, back in 2011 when I was approached by then editor Joe Gelardin about writing a weekly column for The Boothbay Register and the Wiscassett Newspaper I turned him down flat! “Not enough money.” I sniffed, “Plus, why would I want a weekly deadline hanging over my head?”

Fortunately Joe wouldn’t take no for an answer. My weekly column “Stories I Never Told You” turned out to be an excellent creative outlet. In 2013 it earned a First Place award from the Maine Press Association and in 2014 a collection of columns entitled “Answers to Questions Nobody was Askin’” was published by Down East Books. An audiobook version is in the works. Stay tuned.

BookingspicTim Sample At Your Event!

You’ve seen and heard Tim on stage, TV radio and recordings for years. Maybe it’s time to book him to speak at your next event. Here’s how to do it.
ArtGallery

Tim The Illustrator

I’ve always been handy with a pen, pencil or paintbrush. If you don’t believe me, check out the photo of my hand painted 1956 Chevy in the “Tim’s Scrapbook” section of the site.
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ARTillustration

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Tim Sample & The Maine Humor Company · 81 Union St. · PO Box 840 · Calais, Maine 04619 · 207-522-3347 · tim@timsample.com

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